woke up around 11. watched tv. played online.folded some clothes.watched more tv. played online.. want to take a nap. you get my drift. ugh wtf is wrong with me??
i know i know i need to go back to the god foresaken health dept for a checkup but I don’t want to. somehow i owe them 50 bucks (do not know. they are money grubbers I swear. my mom paid right at 200 bucks for an exam they said would be like 100 soo..) I will eventually scare myself into going. but sometimes i think whats the point. i’m happy now, and why ruin it with more bad news
now honestly i’m not going to lie. I think that i still have abnormal cells. how many and to what degree I don’t know. I tried to go off the pill, but then i started bleeding to no end. I went back on the pill and seemingly bled two freakin months.
then last week when i was gonna start a new pack of pills i quit bleeding all on my own. so who knows.
I am so depressed anyways. I know people are like big deal so what your turning 25. well i guess id just hoped to be further along in life by this point. I wanted a kid before i was 25. I simply refuse to be one of these people in my mid 30’s having kids. i probably can’t have kids anyways. so you know.
so yeah i’m depressed. and david and I still have money problems out the ass. and its just sucks. its probably no wonder i sleep all the time. its better than reality for the most part.
anyways i’m gonna get off here for now. ciao