So I am taking a quick minute to write an update before David gets home! I know I went mostly M.I.A after Thursday, but I hadn’t really been around for the majority of the week anyways! We had planned on doing some sort of trip, but for some reason I think David forgot he ever mentioned it to me/changed his mind and we didn’t do anything out of the normal period 🙁 It was pretty boring and I don’t know how many times I wanted to get the computer out and write but I didn’t! I went all the way from thursday evening before David got home until today with only using my phone! I also kept my notifications turned off and it was so peaceful! I still have the notifications off, I must confess!
This weekend coming up My dad is having some sort of family get together and he invited me and david to it! It was all I could do to be like HECK NO. I will make my excuse as it is Alex’s birthday this weekend…That way we get out of it and no one gets the undies in a knot! I do NOT associate with my dads family except for 1 of my uncle/aunt and cousin. They have never acted like they have cared a thing for me and I really don’t care a thing for them. I think it has been OVER 10 years since I last went to a family gathering for them…I grew up and found ways to avoid them and I like it. If David could take off Thursday I swear I would consider heading up there but going to my moms family instead. He has to take off for me to go to court on the 29th though, So I guess there won’t be much luck on that front 🙁 I like to go up on a thursday because my grandma goes out shopping on fridays and it makes it easier to be able to go with her….
So yeah, that blasted day is coming up again. I am so hopeful my lawyer gets my case thrown out. It has been over a year, the state has to keep continuing because their “Evidence” Isn’t back yet, and they are running out of continuances. Whee. One can hope for sure. It is just honestly the most nerve wracking experience and all it really does is cause me to get extra special cray cray beforehand, makes me sick as a dog that morning, and I sit there and shake violently until my lawyer gets there and calls me out to the hall way and tells me what is going on. I keep saying no news is good news. I was totally planning to plead guilty last time to get it over with and here she came up with this plan about the continuances and evidence and such so I am hopeful. I have only went in front of the judge once and I don’t know how I didn’t pass out. I don’t know how people can make a habit of being in these types of situations. This has about taken every thing I have in me. Especially when you consider I have never been in trouble over anything in my life.
With me I feel like I made one stupid idiotic mistake and now I am going to pay for it till kingdom come 🙁 I know what I did was wrong, but at the time it was the 2nd best option We had. I just hope that I can some how another get to a point where I can let the memories of that night totally fade away and not keep them alive and fresh forever. I mean I keep pushing them back, but I know I might still need that information so I have to keep them vivid. I do have a 5 page account (single spaced) of what went on that I wrote on Jasons recommendation the night after it happened. I swear in this county they are so bored they don’t have nothing better to do than harrass someone in their driveway at 10:20 p/m
That is the most I ever sat and wrote about it on my blog. It made me feel better. I won’t probably ever write the whole story but.. That is the gist of my feelings and such. I need to figure out how many times I actually have went to court. I know at least 3 but I am wondering if it has been 4 or 5.. You’d think i’d remember…but I don’t lol
I need to start blogtober posts! I know that I am only about 2-3 days behind since there are only 20 days to our challenge, so I don’t feel too bad!
