I swear I hate having an overactive imagination/over analyzing the heck out of stuff! It really makes things about 1000 times worse than they probably are, even though the situation I am in right now is pretty bad without my weird crazy delluisons! UGH!
Every time I think I am doing “OK” I turn right back around and start having a huge panic and depression fest. … I mean the most horrible thing is the fact that nothing can be done about this mess NOW or even in AUGUST when I’ll know a little bit more. I know someone else who went through this and it took about 10 months! If I keep this mess up for that long I’ll have to be put in the psych ward someplace!
I have to say there are some images a girl of my nature and background should never have to see, and if she happens to have to see them /have them happen to her after 28 years they should make some magic potion to make them get out of her head at some point!
You all cannot imagine how bad it IRKS the ever living heck out of me to not be able to blog it. …I don’t know. There are a couple of ways this situation can play out.. but either way I will come out looking pretty stupid I suppose. The only people who know are David, Mom, Dad, Father IN Law, Brother In law and Jason. Other than that it’s pretty hush hush. Jason just had happened to been in this same position so..I feel extra comforted by the way things could turn out because he’s in a “been there done that” kind of place and I don’t feel like a total embarrassed horrible person! *Sigh*
At least the bruise from my blowed vein is gone. I don’t feel shunned and like I have to stay out of public for fear of people seeing it and asking questions…because yeah..it was all kinda noticeable!
It’s kind of why I haven’t been blogging like I would normally..I mean other than the fact I spent a week starving myself/in the bed and then part of last week with no internet. I just sit down to start to write and it’s like..well there is really only one thing going on in my world, and I can’t “go there”
Meh!
Today I am going to try to work on grits a little bit (hopefully. I Q’d all the stuff from june for a “rainy day” so it’s a lot more manageable to catch up!)
In the house I need to try to vacuum, wash a few dishes and maybe fold up some clothes
I’m gonna try to post some pics or something for everyone to have something “new” here instead of my poor ramblings about vague events..I promise i’ll eventually perk it up and be me…eventually we hope.
I just hope the neck/back/shoulder pain/ crazy dreams and overactive thoughts give it up ..I am already nuts.I don’t need any help!
<3 ya thanks for sticking it out with me. Those of you have messaged/commented /etc have ment it all to me the last 2 1/2-3 weeks! keep it up!! more later ng